Trust is like a bank account. You start a new relationship with a certain amount of trust, and then over time you add to that account to build a solid foundation.
And like a bank account, it can be emptied overnight if you’re not careful about your investment.
Why does it matter? Trust is the foundation of all relationships. Barriers come down, more gets accomplished, it’s more fun. People follow leaders by choice. If people don’t trust you, at best you’ll get compliance.
As important as trust is and as much as we talk about it, the problem is we are not always talking about the same thing. Trust is an all encompassing word that can mean many different things.
What exactly do you mean when you say you don’t trust someone? Do you mean you don’t think they are honest? Or do you mean you don’t trust they have your best interest in mind? Or do you mean you don’t think they can do the job? These are all different dimensions of trust.
How trustworthy are you? If you fall down in any of these four dimensions, you risk depleting your hard-earned trust. Understanding the dimensions of trust will help you know how to build and maintain your trust bank account.
The Four Dimensions of Trust
1. Integrity: Are you honest and ethical?
Honesty is the most important dimension of trust. Liars are not trusted. Bottom line. In fact, without integrity, the other dimensions of trust don’t matter.
If you are in a leadership role, are you a straight shooter? Can people count on you to tell them the truth? Do you live by the values you state?
2. Competence: Do you know what you’re doing?
If someone hires you to do a job, they want to be assured you know what you’re doing and are capable of doing the job well.
If you are in a leadership role, do you understand the role of leadership and are you capable of leading your team toward success?
3. Reliability: Can you be counted on to follow through on your commitments?
Will you be there when you are needed? If you agree to do something, are you dependable? Can you be counted on to complete things on time?
If you are in a leadership role, can people depend on you? Will you show up when you are supposed to? Will you provide the support, direction, and resources that are needed?
4. Concern: Are you genuinely concerned for the well-being of others?
When we believe someone genuinely cares about our well-being, we are willing to open our hearts and become vulnerable. This is the deepest level of trust and is not to be taken lightly.
If you are in a leadership role, do you have people’s best interest in mind? Do you see them as individuals, and do you really care about their well-being?
Be specific when you talk about trust.
“What’s the matter. Don’t you trust me?” my teenage son asked when he wanted to go on a mountain climbing trip with a friend.
Yes, I trusted his integrity and his good intentions, but because of his lack of experience, I did not trust his judgment.
Answering a blanket “Yes, I trust you” or “No, I don’t trust you” is a set up for misunderstanding and creates a no-win situation.
Instead of saying someone is trustworthy or is not trustworthy, it is much more helpful to be specific about what you trust and what you don’t. If trust is an issue, describe the dimension of trust that is the issue, and you’ll have a much more productive conversation.
Three Excellent Resources for Building Trust
For over 25 years, Reina, A Trust Building® Consultancy has done pioneering work in this area. They describe The 3 C’s of Trust. The popular book Trust and Betrayal in the Workplace: Building Effective Relationships in Your Organization by Dennis Reina and Michelle Reina is in it’s 3rd edition.
The TrustWorks Model was created by Cindy Olmstead, and the program is currently sold by The Ken Blanchard Companies. It is described in Trust Works!: Four Keys to Building Lasting Relationships by Ken Blanchard and Cynthia Olmstead
Trust Inc.: Strategies for Building Your Company’s Most Valuable Asset is one of three books edited by Barbara Brooks Kimmel of Trust Across America.