“I’m really tired of all these articles and books telling us what to do to be great leaders. I already know and agree with what they’re saying. I should empower my people, take risks, have a vision, deliver results, be accountable, be service-driven, not ego-driven, etc. etc. etc. I have an MBA and I’ve been to leadership training programs. It’s just not that easy to do,” Randy explained.
I understood Randy’s frustration. Sometimes the issue is that the environment or culture of the company does not support great leadership. But I’ve seen great leadership emerge in some pretty dismal environments. So blaming it on the environment didn’t entirely explain why Randy was having so much difficulty doing the things he knew he was supposed to do.
Not only was Randy well-educated, but he was bright. He was working hard to do the right things, but it wasn’t having the impact he hoped for.
Randy didn’t realize his unexamined beliefs and assumptions below the surface were pulling him in a different direction.
These questions helped surface Randy’s self-limiting beliefs and assumptions.
What do you believe will happen if you let go of control?
When you have basic trust in the potential of others, you naturally stop trying to control all the details and delegating comes naturally. Leaders of great teams have enthusiasm and positive regard for others. They create opportunities for their people to stretch themselves and assume responsibility.
“When people are placed in positions slightly above what they expect, they are apt to excel.” ~Richard Branson
Do you approach mistakes with the question, “What can I learn?” or with the question “Who is to blame?”
Basic trust allows you to take risks. When something goes wrong, it’s not a crisis, it’s a learning opportunity and an investment in your future. Leaders of great teams admit their mistakes, take responsibility for the impact, and learn so they don’t repeat the same mistake.
“Sometimes when you innovate, you make mistakes. It’s best to admit them quickly & get on with improving your other innovations.” ~Steve Jobs
What is so important to you that you are willing to take a stand for it?
When you know what you hold most dear, you can live your life consistently according to those values. Leaders of great teams have unswerving commitment to what they believe in. Their consistency not only creates confidence and trust in their followers, but sets a standard for them as well.
“Those who stand for nothing fall for anything.” ~Alexander Hamilton
What standards do you set for yourself? When you have a choice, do you take the easy road or the more challenging one?
Leaders of great teams are not content with the status quo. They expect more of themselves and set challenging goals that result in more impressive achievements.
“Always shoot for the bulls-eye. If you miss, at least you’ll hit the target.” ~Don Shula
Do you want your team to be great or just get the job done?
The truth is your team can only be as great as you believe it can be. Your vision for your team arises from your own character, motives and beliefs. Your expectations for your team are a reflection of your expectations for yourself.
When you remove your self-imposed limitations and beliefs, the possibilities for yourself and your team expand geometrically.
Jesse,
I love this post.
It’s so true that the beliefs and values we bring to our teams and to our lives in general, directly shape and influence our ability to lead others and create the life of our dreams. As you point out in your post, too often we focus on the externals instead of asking ourselves what role WE are playing on our teams. Your post is an important reminder that great leadership begins not only with a deep awareness and understanding of ourselves, but with a willingness to remove self-imposed limitations and beliefs as well. Thanks for sharing your wisdom and insights with us.
Sharon
Thanks for you comment, Sharon. I love your point that “great leadership begins not only with a deep awareness and understanding of ourselves, but with a willingness to remove self-imposed limitations and beliefs as well.” Thanks for your further illumination.
Great post Jesse. I think a big limiting belief for many leaders is an obsession with being independent that leads to holding onto control. The phrase “if you love someone, set them free” comes to mind. Often people hold on to their “control” and don’t delegate for fear of being vulnerable in dependance to the new custodian of the responsibility and what the impact is should the person leave. It is a short sighted knee jerk reaction of suffering from lack of trust. You need to take risks if you want to win and realise that great teams today are not a function of centralised power or command and control, leadership styles. It is about the collective operating as a team to deliver on the bigger picture.
You’ve described an interesting self-limiting belief: “It is important to be independent. If I let go of control I will be vulnerable and dependent on another person, which is not a good thing.” I see that belief strongly tied to the US culture as it is rooted in our “lone ranger” history. Curious if you see it as prevalent in South Africa as well, and if so, what it might be tied to.
Jesse, it is very prevalent here. Interesting that you put a culture link as I am inclined to agree with you. Sadly we also have a Lone Ranger mentality in SA. This post has really brought up a lot for me in terms of the resistance I see to how companies fear to invest in their people for fear of losing them to the competition for instance.
I think there are a lot of ways we form our beliefs about how the world is – most come from early messages and experiences we had and often are held by our family and even our culture. I have found that when we uncover the source of the beliefs, we can look at them more objectively and consider whether they still hold true. But usually we need help to uncover them because we so deeply believe they are true, we don’t even think they are beliefs – we just see it as reality.
So for the belief that “we shouldn’t invest in people because we’ll just lose them to the competition” I would first try to help my client articulate that belief. This is the most important step because then you can look at it directly. Otherwise, it’s an unrecognized force that works at odds with what you are trying to accomplish.
Then I would ask questions like, “Really? How do you know that?” “What do you see happening in other organizations?” “Assuming people are going to leave, since ‘job for life’ is not a common goal these days, what is the cost/benefit of investing in people while they are here?” The old contact between employee and company was “give us your loyalty and we’ll take care of you.” Could there be a new contract such as “give us your full effort while you are here and leave the company better than when you arrived, and we’ll help you gain experience and skills.”
These questions might not have an immediate impact on the beliefs, but by exposing them and gently questioning them, they begin to lose their power because we see that ultimately they are NOT necessarily the true nature of reality.
Thanks for bringing up this example, Thabo and for sharing your own experience.
Hiya – interesting way of reframing a somewhat tired idea, nice work. A few thoughts:
Control is largely an illusion. The more folk feel they need to exercise it, the more that other folk simply find ways around what’s going on. I control very little, and I can involve and then maybe influence much more effectively than control.
I think it is interesting that you quoted Steve Jobs in relation to admitting mistakes quickly. He and Apple have an almost bombproof reputation and folks have quickly forgotten all the denial that he and Apple put out around the Iphone 4 and it’s reception difficulties. On that occasion at least it seems he doesn’t practice what he preaches.
And now for confession time – my limitations. I think the biggest challenge I have is in reminding myself to check in with trusted friends and associates to bounce ideas off one another. Without people, we’re nothing.
Thanks – Doug
Hi Doug, Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts.
Great point about Apple response to the iPhone reception issues! You’re absolutely right. Sometimes I think we teach others what it is we need to learn ourselves. Maybe that’s something Jobs aspires toward. It does seem to mostly describe his attitude, which I think is one of the reasons we were all so surprised at how they handled that issue.
Much appreciation for your sharing your own limitation around remembering to bounce ideas off trusted friends and associates. The positive belief is “without people, we’re nothing.” I wonder what hidden belief keeps you from remembering to do that. It might be something like “I don’t have time to check in with friends because if I slow down I’ll miss the opportunity to implement my ideas” or it could be “My friends are so busy, I don’t like to bother them too much.” or it could be something else. I just offered these two examples to show how two very different underlying beliefs can cause the same behavior.
Thanks again for adding to the conversation.
Hi Jesse – thanks for thinking about, and sharing a couple of ideas around my hidden beliefs, useful stuff for me to think on about. Cheers – Doug
“unexamined beliefs and assumptions below the surface” couldn’t leave that alone. Get the lead line out !
Yes leaders can get into trouble with these beliefs and assumptions. Even the best that are in command can forget to share their mental models with their subordinates and visa versa.
I had a meeting with an officer once that I thought went excellently, only to find out the next day that all was not well. She had taken much of what we had spoken about to heart and was upset to say the least. So I uncovered quickly that not checking my assumptions is never a good thing to do. I may have know where I was on the chart, but that took the assumption that the chart was in agreement with me.
Branson’s quote certainly shows his way of life, his liking of living on the edge and full belief in himself enabling him to give “letting go of control” a true chance.
It’s like letting the reins go on a racehorse, knowing that you have the skill and belief to let him go, and knowing it is a win-win. The horse wins the race, or he shows you something new you can use to win your next race. This type of growth mindset is all about your next excellent point. And as your chosen quote points out, S.Jobs believes in this. He may not have jumped up and down about the apparent problem at first, but in his way and his time, he admitted the possibility of a problem, offered a solution and moved on to innovate the iPad2. I have found that believing is the easy part, doing, not always so.
For me I try to remind myself that we will make mistakes, even the simplest of all, remembering our own advice. One of the biggest limiting beliefs I know is the assumption that everyone understood what you said, and that can lead to problems expanding exponentially below and unseen. OK and Yes may mean they heard, it does not necessarily mean they understood.
Get the lead line out to check your assumptions and beliefs.
Great Post Jesse,
Thanks,
Simon
I really appreciate your further illuminating and extending the conversation, Simon. Your points about Steve Jobs are well taken. I agree that one of the biggest limiting beliefs is the assumption that we understand others. A second is the assumption that others understand us, or that they should understand us. It’s one of the most important lessons I’ve learned. It was really helpful to finally liberate myself from the belief “if you love me, you should understand me.” It’s also liberating to realize it’s ok to let go of control.
Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts, Simon.
Jesse
Jesse-
Challenging. Implementation is so key. It’s all about execution of ideas, not just ideas. Execution and implementation make the difference.
So much of our learning is based on review and reflection. This post is also a great reminder for me to spend more time reflecting on the actual implementation of leadership principals and ideas. Not just the “what” and “why”, but the “who” and “how”.
I enjoyed the question you listed. They went write into my journal for further contemplation. Thanks for sharing,
Micah Yost
@GroupThrive
Thanks, Micah. Always nice to hear your views.
Jesse
Doug-
Love the phrasing “without people, we’re nothing”. I have officially stolen this and written in Evernote, which means it will be on my white board in my office by tomorrow noon… 🙂
Micah Yost
@GroupThrive
Hey Micah – I’m very pleased to hear that. It’s something that helps keep me grounded, and was first coined by the late, great, Joe Strummer. If you have a spare minute (literally just one minute) you might like to check out this short speech by the man here:
http://stopdoingdumbthingstocustomers.com/inspiring/without-people-youre-nothing/
Jesse,
Well done article. I had to bookmark it and just got back to it. Glad I did. Oddly enough just today I also caught your interview/podcast with @LeaderLab and wanted to compliment you for that as well.
I have to say I agree with Micah that it comes down to execution. There are important things to be learned in those counter questions you pose with each point. For example, “Who is to blame?” is not necessarily a negative question for a productive leader to ask. Leaders are charged with accountability and development of the team, that will require knowing where and how to place blame (gently, with humility in most cases). Your first point about fear of losing control – upon reflection a leader may come to realize that their fear stems from a situation where trust has not been earned. The wise leader will recognize when to release control and when to keep it.
It seems to me that what will help bridge the space between your points and successful application is a leader’s attitude. And that is a very difficult thing to protect in some environments. My attitude will not only predispose me ask certain questions, it will also color my answers to them. Our hearts are mysterious things and easily influenced by what’s around us.
Here’s to a self-reflective life.
Hi Adam,
I agree that when mistakes occur it is necessary to find out who is involved. The purpose is to get to the root cause so learning can occur and changes made so the mistakes will not be repeated. You raise an excellent point that “Who is to blame?” is not necessarily a bad question, depending on what you do after you find out. I love the story about Sam Walton’s response to a young man who was responsible for costly mistake to the company. Having been called to Walton’s office, the young man said, “Save the lecture and just fire me.” Walton replied “Why would I fire you? I just made a huge investment in your education.”
I also agree that it would not be wise to let go of control if the person to whom you are delegating does not have the skills, knowledge or confidence to do the job. The issue is whether the decision comes from a rational analysis of the situation or a general attitude toward life.
I love your statement “Our hearts are mysterious things and easily influenced by what’s around us.” Self-reflection is indeed the key to discrimination.
Adam, thanks so much for taking the time to share your thoughts and adding to the conversation.